I am convicted yet again of sinful attitudes and wrong motives in a certain area. *sigh*
Throughout my entire adult life I have struggled with the question of where and how others are to fit into my life; mainly concerning friendships. Clearly God calls us to have friends. The friendship of David and Jonathan is a good example. ...Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 1 Sam 18:1 Who doesn't want to have a friend like that? I will admit that I yearn for that kind of friendship. Though, my attitude in seeking friends has been the problem here; NOT the fact that God has not provided. Because, like everything else in life, my sinful nature has distorted God's original design for friendship as a way of glorifying Himself.
The world's conquest for friends is rooted in selfish desire; the desire to feel loved, wanted, included. We want to be adored by others; to be made much of. I have, being the sucker for sinful things that I am, bought into this.
God calls us to something much more noble than the world's definition of friendship. He calls us to live the "one-anothers":
Love~A new commandment I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Jn 13:34 (Now, this one can't happen without the rest...)
Service~Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. Jn 13:14
Encouragement and Accountability~Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Col 3:16
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up... 1 Thess 5:11
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Heb 3:13
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Heb 10:24
Suffering~Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Gal 6:2
Forgiveness~Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:32
Prayer~Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed...James 5:16
I have wept several times while preparing this post because I've become so aware of my failure in these things. I have sought friends for what I could get instead of what I can give through Christ. I should be continually seeking out friends for the purpose of serving them. Instead, I have wasted years seeking friendships for what they could do for me. Forgive me, Father. I have been SO selfish. Give me wisdom in seeking friendships for YOUR glory; seeking out friends for the purpose of serving them, not to be served by them.
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. Gal 5:13
8 comments:
This has been a battle for me, but maybe, for other reasons. I have had numerous friendships that have let me down, and have caused me to not trust them. And once I lose trust, then I lose the desire for companionship with them. But......
what I know is that they are human, they are not God. So therefore, I have become guilty of judging them, and now I am aware that I am also guilty of not forgiving them.
Thank you for the reminder that friendships are not about what they have done to me or for me, but how can I glorify God in serving and considering one-another, more than myself.
Great post! Most of us women need this reminder often. I have recently said similar things. I have a couple of friends that are really fun and are an escape for me, and I love them dearly, but do not say the hard things to them that are for their spiritual good, and they don't for me either. Then there are others that would love to be close to me and want the admonishment and I push them aside because they're not as FUN, and it is draining to "one-another" them sometimes. Then there's Janal who is fun and will say the hard things, and, DUH, she's been there all along and I missed it until now!
Sorry, I wrote a book and you don't even know me! LOL! I appreciate this post, though, and thought you should know that you have "admonished me with all wisdom."
Kati, our Father hears and wants to answer your heart!
Janal~it's understandable. Of course you don't desire the friendship once trust is betrayed. God calls us to forgive no matter what, but whether or not the friendship is ever close again is completely in His hands. I'm dealing with the consequences of that very thing right now, as I am the one who betrayed trust in a friendship and it is no more--and I miss her TERRIBLY. Consequences.
Amanda~oh, relax, I know you better than you think~I've been "secretly" reading your blog for weeks. :) Thanks for commenting. I thought about getting into the "types" of friends in my post, but decided not to. I know what you're describing. I have and have had both types of friends. And though it is comfortable to rely on the first type and call them our "real" friends, it is the ones who call us to godliness who are the true friends in God's eyes. And I know, often they aren't "fun" friendships, which is really disappointing to our flesh.
You and Janal are so blessed to have the relationship you do. Treasure it.
Brother b~Thank you. I wept in response to your encouragement. Wow--really weepy today!! :)
Amanda~ You are waaayyy to kind to me, someday you will see me for the loser that I am ! Or, maybe you already know...................Lol!
Kati~ I'm honored to know that I have secret blog-readers. :)
Janal~ I already know, the Bible told me! But I see Christ in you and the personality he gave you and I love you for it.
Kati~ Praying for restoration.....
thank you, Janal.
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