Mother Bear

Grrrrrr.

Lucky for you, readers, that mother bear gave herself a few hours to cool down before posting. It wouldn't have been pretty immediately following the initial shock. It's still not pretty.

Our gracious postal carrier delivered our mail to our door this morning. (There was a package too big to fit in the mailbox.) Among the rest of the mail was a pornographic postcard from Playboy. Apparently they think our family might be interested in ordering their publication for the rock-bottom low price of a dollar an issue. (Or something like that.) If I can tastefully describe the postcard to you--three different shots of three different ladies, all very obviously silicone-enhanced, in very provocative positions, and, um, leaving very little to the imagination. IN MY MAIL!!!!! In a (very understated) word, I was OUTRAGED!!!

My first two thoughts were in the direction of 1)my husband and 2)my children. (Although I can't remember the order.) As if its not already blasted all over the Internet, blasted on billboards, blasted all over the workplace, my husband has to fight the stuff while looking through his own mail?? (Which, thankfully he didn't have to this time since I found it first.)

And...my CHILDREN!!! Oh my goodness, I almost always send one of the two older out to the mailbox for me!! But thankfully, today, it was brought to our door for us. I can not even tell you my disgust at the thought of trying to explain something like this to my 10 year old son or my 6 year old daughter. I know its out there everywhere, but am I too naive thinking I ought to be able to protect their innocence within the confines of my own home? Heck, I try my hardest to protect them from the soft porn on the racks of the Walmart checkout lane; sometimes using my whole body, arms and legs, and even a loaf of bread or a frozen pizza to try to cover certain magazines. So do you think I oughta just stand by and allow them to put full-fledged porn in my mailbox without my permission?

So, I wrote a letter. I prayed as I was writing it, asking God to give me wisdom, but at the same time hoping He'd allow me to sound as angry as I really was. I sent their postcard back with it, asking them to respect my effort to try to shield my family from their filth, and to remove us from their mailing list immediately.

I'm still angry. Is this my only method of action available? I told Matt that IF one of the children had actually been the one to get the mail today, I know I would've been angry enough to actually make a phone call. Which would have been ENTIRELY at odds with my natural tendency to avoid confrontation. But hey, when you're talking about my children.......grrrrr. Isn't it my duty to protect them with everything I have?

I have felt this mother bear surface a few times in the last ten years. The most recent memory was at an Applebees restaurant, where our family sat to try to enjoy a meal, as a group of loud, belligerent folks sat at the table next to us. The profanity eventually became so loud and so obnoxious, that I stood up, leaned over to their table, and requested in a firm voice that they STOP USING THAT LANGUAGE IMMEDIATELY in respect of others around them, especially the children. (I'm telling you this was like an out of body experience. The sort of thing where I didn't even realize I did it until I'd sat back down.) I chalk it up to the mother bear inside me. She's always in there, but it takes certain extreme circumstances to bring her out. (And the group apologized and was much quieter the rest of the time we were there.)

I'm just at a loss as to what to do with my anger. I wonder if anybody can tell me if this sort of thing is legal? I mean, there was no attempt to disguise anything. Can I take any action here?

And, last but not least, I feel this pressing urge to explain myself to our mail lady...