The Cross

It seems the only time I muster up the energy to write on this blog is when I'm feeling a bit emotional. I truly pray that my faith would never consist merely of empty emotion. But these times when I am gripped by emotion are the times when I seem to get just a glimpse of the magnitude of who Christ is and what He's done.

In these final weeks of studying the Gospel of Matthew in BSF, and looking in depth at the suffering of Christ in the last hours of His earthly life, I am struck. I hesitate to even write about it on this blog, because I know I can't begin to get it into words for anyone else to understand. Yet, if you've been to "this place" before, then I guess you already understand.

I have written in earlier posts of my struggle to "accept" my sinfulness. I GRIEVE (sometimes, I think, more than a "healthy" grieving) over my sin, because I SO BADLY want to be like Jesus. In anger, I've accused Him at times of not really understanding what it's like to have to live in a "fallen" body. While it is true that Christ lived on this earth without experiencing what it was like to sin, he certainly "experienced sin". God was somehow able to transfer all the guilt and shame of my sin onto Christ as He experienced the Cross. In my feeble little mind I know I don't begin to appreciate this as I should. But in studying the Cross, God has given me moments--glimpses--when I seem to "get it".

As I try to get a grip on the magnitude of what Christ experienced--the pain of the shame and the separation from His Father, I am simply.............GRATEFUL. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Cor. 5:21 My sin on Him, His righteousness on me. It wasn't fair, God. It isn't fair. Thank you.

It's only at the foot of the Cross that I can even begin to understand the magnitude of this Sacrifice. I pray that He would draw me to my knees--to THIS place--every day, and give me more love for my Savior.